Monday, February 8, 2010

blue skies and the last week of a dog

today i worked with a gal who told me a bit about her challenging upbringing
and we chatted about the efforts that go into unravelling
habits we acquire along our life paths

earlier today
i found myself feeling low
down
depressed I guess
and then i thought about this blog
and how i am either dancing in the sprinkler of love, abundance and gratitude
or looking upwards from inside a dark hole
and how this daily challenge i have created for myself
seems like a lie on these darker days

how i have to push the heavy ball
up the hill
to tap some words onto this screen

and feel so very far away from feeling thanks for the goodness of life
(eagles danced above my head, purple and orange flowers, pizza with pineapples)

i try to force myself
LOOK I am walking I am healthy I am so grateful!
but I don't really mean it feel it

but today when I spoke with my coworker
and went inside of her heart, her world
the hole i was in disappeared

I give great thanks to people, warm beautiful bodies experiences and minds
and sharing
and that invisible switch that is sometimes flicked when you least expect it

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